I Don’t Understand
I don’t
understand Lord. How could this happen? We prayed and kept praying. Knocked and
continued to knock. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to figure it out and can
only hug my friend in her loss. Even then, how will this help us know why?
I think at times
like this, when we lose someone dear to our hearts, especially our own children, that
we lack the capacity to ken the reason for their passing. You could explain it
in our own language, plain English for me, or any number of languages throughout
the globe. I doubt I could even understand where it to come from the mouths of
angels via the gift of tongues. It hurts and I doubt. This vexes me, a
purported man of faith, to have no answer.
It is one thing
to lose someone after a long and full life, say a parent who has aged and
deteriorated, or even a spouse who has done the same. The emptiness and loss are
real for this but we understand that we age and have a finite time on earth to
live. We can grow to accept the loss though never really come to love the
emptiness. But to lose someone in the fullness of their life struck down by
random rebellious cells in their own body, someone who can bring so much to so
many and ease their pains, how do we live with that?
As you now Lord,
I lost a friend to a random and senseless accident well before he even touched
on the potential of his life. I still don’t understand that one. You know I
became bitter over it and the whole thing drove a wedge between you and me. It
was only a miracle at the hands of a bunch of junior high kids praying over me
that I was cured of the bitterness. I still have the question but have accepted
it as the way things are.
But, from where
will the miracle come for my friend? How will she understand, accept, and move
along? The family needs peace, Kristy’s struggle has worn them out. A mother
and father grieve. A husband and little boy are deeply saddened. Friends hang
their heads and weep. Clients, people who’ve felt healing and wellness at her
touch, have an empty spot in their hearts. Our community has a hole where once
a bright and warm light emanated and provided comfort.
I don’t
understand it and can’t give them the explanation they feel they need to come
to grips with the deep longing for a better outcome of the struggle. I can only
pray and hope for a miracle to find them, envelope them, and give them a
purpose for continuing down the trail of life without her.
And so I do pray
and hope and look for peace. Bring it Lord, quick and sure, bring peace to our
hearts.
In Your grip
Lord,
jerry
