I sat and listened to scriptures being read while friends were gathered
round a campfire in front of the church. It was our Good Friday Vigil and the scriptures
were followed by songs, prayers, devotional thoughts, and hope. Most assuredly,
hope. A huge stone had been rolled in front of the entryway to the church – in times
past one of our high school students would dress as a Roman soldier and stand guard.
I was struck with the certainty that I keep such a rock covering my
heart, not to keep Jesus in as they did at his Passover burial chamber, but to
keep him out. I don’t want him to know the truth of who and what I am, a sinner
and full of hypocrisy. I’ve had my hypocrisy pointed out by a long lost friend recently
and I take no consolation that hypocrisy crosses every line and reaches into
every pigeon hole of humankind.
The stone even keeps me from truly knowing myself so that I can surrender
to God’s Grace completely. The final act of grace was accomplished with Jesus’
sacrifice, the victory over sin and death sealed with his resurrection. I can only cry out and cry out again, pray and
pray again, and knock and knock again, rather - pound and pound again - at the
door and beseech him to overcome the rock over my heart.
Lord help me roll away all that blocks me from being true to your word.
He rises!
In His grip,
jerry
