Dear Chrissy

Dear Chrissy,

How can the sun be shining? That is what I asked myself this morning as I hiked up the mountain with Todd. It seems to me that the day should have been overcast, drizzling, and dreary, and more befitting of my feelings since getting the news of your going home. Once I got over my indignity at the sun for such an outrage and disgust at the gentle breeze that cleared the way for me to see the ocean, I could see that this was the perfect day for your homecoming. I know that you were greeted by Jesus with, "Welcome home, good and faithful servant. Well done."

I have missed you these past weeks. There will be an empty spot that, thankfully, Jesus will need to fill and most assuredly will. At your darkest hours, you can make me feel blessed and warmly received. I felt like a rock star whenever we saw each other, all because I had the good fortune of spending a little extra time with your kids, which was a huge blessing to me.

Austin and Nicole have been at the center of your world, they were two of your reasons to hold on as long as you could. I don't believe you feared death but instead were possessed by a fierce desire to live, to see your kids well on their way in life, to hold on to Todd for as long as possible, and to be there for your friends while you were about the business of the Kingdom of God. After all, we have only a short time here with our loved ones and an eternity with Jesus. You thirsted for life; indeed, you thirsted for The Life, and I know you found it and shared it unabashedly.

Grief will visit us. It will be sharp and poignant for your family and the closest of your friends. It will come to them in waves. Some waves will lap at their feet and be gentle reminders of all you are to them: your kindness and love and your ability to make them the center of your universe. Some waves will try to overwhelm them, and we'll need to stand with them to ensure they are not swept out to sea. God's grace is sufficient, and He will provide.

I know that for myself, I asked, "Why Christine? Why was there no miracle healing?" Honestly, I've been a bit miffed. Others will feel the same. I went down that deep dark path years ago with a friend when I held on to my anger far too long, so long that it turned to bitterness and that bitterness separated me from my Lord. I caution folks to let the anger go, hold on to the love with their big hearts, and let God be God. We may never know his purpose in our losses. He must be enough for us.

I will continue to be sad for myself, sad for that marvelous core group of friends of yours, and sadder still for Todd, Nicole, and Austin. But I will also spend a lot of time marveling at nature and the lush green pastures and the valleys you now have with their lakes and streams, and I will praise the name of Jesus that I have the good fortune to call you my friend.

In His grip,

Jerry

PS – I have taken the liberty of scanning some of the comments from your friends and family and have listed some that ring particularly true to me here. Some of these are only a piece of what they wrote, some are all. At last count, there were 180 comments on the family post at this writing and these are but a few:

From Phil Van Horn, "Brokenhearted and inspired…all at the same time."

From Alfred Berumen, "I share your grief for someone with such a beautiful soul. Chrissy was always a gem of delight and personality and she had fabulous "Hair Pirate" hair. We all loved her so much. Peace and strength sent to your family."

Sarah Rush: "I'm sending you all my most heartfelt love and will be praying for you. I was heartbroken to hear the news of precious Chrissy's passing last night. I've prayed so fervently for her the last 5 years. I know she's with Jesus, but my heart is so heavy. God bless you dear ones."

Karen Gee McAuley, "We are so blessed to have known and loved her. We will remember her, full of love, light and baked goods to rival a pastry chef, her sense of humor and humanity. God called her home and while we miss her so much, we are grateful that she is finally at peace."

Lisa Li: "What a loss, such a ray of sunshine no matter the clouds. May she fly high as know she would."

Jennifer Horn: "Such an amazing woman filled with so much sparkle…"

Alice Hill: "My heart breaks while her soul finds peace. I know she is in the loving arms of our Lord, with no more pain and no more fear, only love. She will be missed by everyone left behind, because she was truly one of the special ones. Her loving spirit lit up a room as soon as she walked in and I am sure heaven felt that amazing spirit when she arrived."

Sue Volz Peters: "I'm so very sorry to read this news! Chrissy was a bright beacon of light!"

Sharon Marks Boudreaux-Stam: "I'm so sorry for your loss. She was such a beautiful person inside and out."

Michele Hetherington Fernandez: "We love you all so much & our lives have been forever changed from having Christine & your family in them."

Greg Stoney: "I'm so gutted. Such a sweet human taken from us much too early. I feel honored to know her…"

Amanda Minkey Granier: "Gonna miss my sweet friend so much  but so blessed to have had her in my life for so many years. I will cherish our times together, our laughs, our cries, our talks and everything in between."

She was truly one of a kind and touched so many hearts! She loved loved her family and was so proud of all of you!

Terry Kappen: "OMG!!! I am shocked to hear this news! My heart is breaking! I am so sorry Todd, Nichole, and Austin. Chrissy fought the long fight. She trusted God to see her through this for 5 years and never gave up. She now can have the peace she and everyone that loves her have been praying for. She was the kindest, God-fearing person I knew, she had helped me through many of trials in my life."

180 and counting…

Laura's Challenge

 

On Sunday May 5, 2024, Rev. Dr. Laura Harbert delivered a sermon from her heart titled “We Become What We Behold!” I have found that when I write from the heart, that is when I am at my best and I appreciate when others do the same. Laura brought God’s word to us through her cornerstone verse:

2 Corinthians 3: 17-18 – “¹⁷Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. ¹⁸And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” (NIV)

We are being transformed from what are into something we are not now. This is always the case throughout life and the transformative power comes from that which we behold, what we consume, what we take into ourselves. If we consume hate and falsehood, we become the purveyors of hatred, loathing, and lies. If we come to the Lord’s Table with repentance in our hearts and consume the fruits of the Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal. 5: 22) – then this is what we will become.

To achieve this, to become more like Christ, I need to humbly and in repentance, keep myself on the Potter’s Wheel so that he can continue to transform this lump of clay more clearly into his image.

Reverend Laura’s challenge to me is to make a list of where I behold God’s Glory and to reflect on those things. Okay, she didn’t phrase it as a challenge but instead said, “This would be one homework assignment I would love to give each one of you. Make a list of where you behold God’s Glory. Who are the people who show you God’s Glory? What are the places that stir up God’s Glory? What are the things, where do you behold God’s Glory?” Me, being a recovering jock, have taken this as a challenge and my reply follows this link to her sermon if you would like to be touched and transformed:

Sermon 5–5-2024 “We Become What We Behold!” by Rev. Laura Harbert (youtube.com)

These are some of the places, things, and people that allow me to behold God’s Glory:

V I see Jesus in the smile of my children and their children and in the trust in their eyes. That is the spiritual fruit of love.

V I see God’s hand in a failed project that touches someone’s heart despite my failure. This is God’s grace and the spiritual fruit of faithfulness.
V My Lord speaks to me when a young teen, covered in dust, concrete, paint, and sweat smiles and can’t wait to do it again. This is faithfulness and joy in His goodness.
V He whispers to me when I hear the symphony played by nature’s orchestra – the rustling of leaves, gurgling of the brook, calling birds, and solitude. This fruit of the spirit is peace.

V I sense his presence while being part of a well ridden series of ess-turns by a group of expert riders. That is the spiritual fruit of joy.
V I feel God near me when I see the bonds of an old grudge against man or God broken. This is the faithfulness of the Great Healer.
V Seeing someone deep into solitude touches my heart with Jesus’ kindness.
V I hear God’s voice in Cindy’s laughter as it drifts into the office or upstairs while she’s on the phone or with friends or family. This one thing is the fruit of joy, love, and goodness.
V My kids in love show me God’s love for us all, for God is love.
V Cynene. She is all the fruits of the Spirit…
V I am transformed by the flight of a red-tailed hawk, my every-man bird, and hearing its call of joy and exhilaration. When I look at the intarsia hawk my dad me and read his inscription, “Together in His grip”, I am reminded of God’s goodness and mercy.
V I see God presence in Jim’s laughter, Michael’s wit, and Doug’s indominable loyalty – the love of friends of the past, present, and future are all the fruits of the spirit.
V Any chance encounter with one of God’s creatures speaks of himself.

V The unsolicited ‘good morning’ from a fellow walker, hitherto unknown to each other, reminds me of Jesus oneness. Perhaps the response to the smile and look of wonder on my own face as I think on this list is what inspired them to offer up the ‘good morning’.
V The turn of a good phrase like, “Fear not, for I am with you” (Isaiah 41:10) excites me to write. That is faithfulness.
V Seeing a scraped knee tended to by a parent, sibling, teacher, or even a stranger screams of Jesus’ gentleness and kindness.

For as long as I live, I won’t be able to list them all and, as you can see by my collage, there is room for more and blanks have been left in anticipation.

Make your own list, create your own collage, and dwell on those things where you behold His Glory.

In His grip,

jerry

Répondez s'il vous plaît - RSVP

 

The Apostle Paul tells us in Philippians 4:6-7 - “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

In the preamble to Prayer, Finding the Heart’s True Home, Richard J. Foster gives us a glimpse into the heart of God, “He aches over our distance and preoccupation. He mourns that we do not draw near to him. He grieves that we have forgotten him… He longs for our presence.” I am often too absorbed with busyness, accomplishing the next thing, doing something – anything – and then rewarding myself with some downtime, you know, like watching TV or burying my face in my phone. Too busy to spend time in his presence, talking to him, loving him.

Foster goes on to tell us, “And he is inviting you – and me – to come home, to come home to where we belong. To come home to that for which we were created. His arms are stretched out wide to receive us. His heart is enlarged to take us in.”

We receive invitations all the time for birthdays, weddings, baby and wedding showers, poker games. There is generally an RSVP request with contact information toward the bottom of the invitation. RSVP are the initials for the French phase, ‘Répondez s'il vous plaît’, basically meaning to please respond. The literal translation is ‘Respond, if it pleases you.’

Sometimes I get the sense that the host is begging me, “Please tell me you are coming.” “Please, please contact me at 555-555-5555 or by email at lovemybaby@rsvp.com or using the self-addressed stamped envelope.” They seem desperate for my attendance and are anxious to know if I am coming so they can prepare the house for me, have my favorite drink ready, and to make sure that I am comfortable and relaxed. I believe God wants our RSVP for all those things. Though it is more a longing than a begging.

How should I respond to God’s invitation? What is his chosen method for the RSVP? I need to respond with an open heart to Jesus Christ, his chosen contact and use the Holy Spirit to transmit my acceptance to join him. God’s invitation is not a ‘Regrets Only’ RSVP. If he doesn’t hear from me, he assumes I will not be joining him. If he hears from Me, I’ve already accepted his invitation.

It is important to allow time in a corporate worship service for each person to connect with God in prayer, to touch the hem of his garment in a way that allows power to go from Jesus to the believer. I believe this should be early in the service so that corporate worship and singing flows from a place of personal contact. We need the opportunity to RSVP before we jump into the party, otherwise we are just a part of the din trying to harmonize.

I listen for the invitation from time to time. Most often it is during walks, hikes, bicycle pedals, motorcycle rides, or floats when I have some solitude and I’m away from the requirements of social interaction. There is a meditation technique where I envision myself walking along until I find what I'm looking for. I have two such walks that are effective for me in my prayer/mediation life, such as it is. In one, I picture myself hiking in the Sierras, most times I am wending my way through the forest until I find myself hiking along a rushing stream tumbling down the hillside to spread itself through a meadow and into an alpine lake. At some point, I see myself walking with Jesus, talking as to a friend.

There are times that my meditation takes me up a set of switchbacks to a mountain pass where I hope to find the stream leading from the snowpack to the lake on the other side of the pass. When I find myself on this trail, I often come across a rockslide blocking the trail and I need to clear the rocks, some being large boulders. It is hard work to clear the path and I often fail at it. When this happens, my hope is that my work to clear the path has been an effective RSVP and that he will meet me in my labors.

Jesus himself, being fully God and fully human, shows us the need for prayer to connect to God and he practices the art to show us the way. Luke 6:12 tells us “In these days he went out to the mountain to pray, and all night he continued in prayer to God.” This is how Jesus prepared himself to deliver the Sermon on the Mount and gave us the beatitudes. Should we do any different to prepare us for our day?

Don’t forget to RSVP.

In His grip,

Jerry

Author’s note: After writing my first draft for this post, I went on a bicycle ride. I found it nearly impossible to hear the invitation or to make any meaningful connection. Even riding around the Rose Bowl and Brookside Golf courses where it is a relatively safe place to ride, there are too many things to think about – other cyclists, joggers in the roadway rather than in the pedestrian lane, cars, or golfers crossing the road between holes that feel no need to stop and look. Maybe I’ll get to the point where the pedaling is second nature and hearing and responding to the invitation is first nature…

Build It...

 

MAZ 2015 - Building a Vatu at Stotonic

Preface: Pastor Mouris is leading a community Bible study at La Crescenta Presbyterian Church on Tuesdays from 11 to Noon and is taking us through the book of Nehemiah. I’ve just finished the first paragraph of this post and now have no idea where it will take me. I thought it was to be about the difference between a ‘joiner’ and a ‘builder’. God is great.

Nehemiah was a builder. That much is well documented in the Old Testament book written by him. The book answers the 5 W’s and one H questions. Who? What? When? Where? Why? How? The ‘who’ is Nehemiah and a remnant of the exiles of Israel out of Persia. The ‘what’ is that the wall of Jerusalem is rebuilt. The ‘when’ was around 445BC, a little more than 100 years after the first wave of Israelites had returned to Jerusalem with permission from King Cyrus. The ‘where’ is the Kingdom of Judah’s capital, Jerusalem. I’ll address the ‘why’ below. The ‘how’ might be better covered in a post all its own but, for the purpose of this post let’s say by prayer, commitment to a vision, and by grace.

The question as to why is taking me places I hadn’t thought to go. Like my questions to my parents, my children of me, and now even my grandchildren, ‘why’ can be asked until we drill down to the depths of motivation. I could offer the simple answer, “because God told him to”, and to the question, “Why did God tell him to?” I would have to say, “God only knows”. I feel like that would be cheating so I’ll drill down a little bit.

There was no earthly reason for Nehemiah to uproot himself from Persia and go to a city in ruins to build a wall that the residents and previously freed exiles did not want. He was cupbearer to King Artaxerxes and had the complete trust of the king who would eat or drink anything handed to him by Nehemiah. Nehemiah lived in the palace, had everything he could want – food and shelter fit for a king. Why then, did he go?

Nehemiah was a godly man, given to prayer and fasting, and obedient to God’s Will. He heard a report from his brother Hanani upon Hanani’s return from Jerusalem and the province. The people who had returned there from exile ‘are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.” (Neh. 1:3) Nehemiah sat down and wept. He couldn’t stand the thought of God’s people being in trouble or in disgrace and he went into a time of mourning, fasting, and prayer. (Neh. 1:4)

His prayers were full and complete. Nehemiah went to God with supplication for his people and confession of his and their sins. He reminded God of His Word while interceding for the people of Israel. His period of mourning carried over to his job, which was to hand the King the cup, untainted with poison. The king asked Nehemiah why his face looked so sad even though he was not ill. Nehemiah tells us that he was very much afraid but told the king he was sad because he could not be happy knowing his ancestral city was in ruins and the gates burned. (Neh. 2:2-3)

I love this part and want this in my life – when the king asked he what he wanted Nehemiah tells us that, “Then I prayed to the God of heaven, and I answered the king, ‘If it pleases the king, and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my fathers are buried sot that I can rebuild it.” (Neh. 2:5) That is Nehemiah’s secret. He is such a prayerful soul that he can pray and offer a response to the king in the same breath. I want that.

I’ll recap what I believe is the answer to why Nehemiah went to rebuild the wall. He was a godly man. He prayed often and deeply. He fasted and as part of his spiritual discipline and waited on God and listened for replies. He was obedient. Obedient to the point of giving up the prime position on the king’s staff. In this case, the ‘how’ was intertwined with the ‘why’. Because of these things, Nehemiah had taken on aspects of God, namely God the Creator. Nehemiah had it in him to create, to build. And that’s what he did.

I’ve been asking myself while writing this, ‘Why am I writing it? What does it have to do with my life? How will it affect me or rather, how will I use this to affect change?’ There is something in me that is broken down and in disgrace, something missing that needs to be rebuilt, a wall broken down and letting things best locked out in, or a gate is broken that won’t allow people in that need to be there. I pray that I am being obedient to His voice in this – I have missed doing mission work and service with young people and in response we have restarted Mission Arizona. There is something more, something deeper than this, I know. I also know that it will come to me as I pursue obedience, just as Jesus has done for me or to me, year over year.

I encourage you to pray and seek God to find the wall that is broken in you, the gate you need working to let Him in.

I am in His grip, always.

Jerry

Psst...Trust Me

  

She'll run like a charm, trust me.

Psst…Trust Me

Early in 2021, I was one of nine individuals who were asked and accepted a nomination to be elected to a select committee of the La Crescenta Presbyterian Church, our home church. We were elected unanimously by the congregation without receiving nominations from the floor, volunteers from those present, and without debate. Apparently, no one else was clamoring to be on the Pastor Nominating Committee (PNC) charged with finding the replacement for our longtime and beloved pastor who had announced his and his wife’s intention to move on to a new call, this one in the missionary field, a place where their hearts lay as well as the heart of the congregation.

NCAA Basketball fans will get this analogy without blinking and most will understand it. Imagine taking over for Coach John Wooden (Wizard of Westwood) upon his retirement as the UCLA Men’s Basketball coach. It took Coach Wooden several years to build his program to the point where they won 10 NCAA championships over a 12-year period, with a string of seven in a row. Only one other college program has more than seven in their history - Kentucky has eight over a 64-year period. How do you follow an act like that? How do you find a person to establish a culture of excellence of their own when expectations run so high? No wonder we didn’t have a line out the door of smiling people eager for the task of finding the next pastor.

I should not have said yes. My parents had passed away ten weeks apart only two or three months previous, I was steeped in managing their estate based in Oregon, and due to the pandemic, hadn’t been able to mourn properly or celebrate their life with family and friends, and I was a wreck. I had no right to nod my head and accept this blessing but God was at work and I desperately needed to see His hand in action, to be met by Him in ways as he so often has over my life. I cannot say that I did not look back once I put my hand to the plow (see Luke 9:62). I was days away from bowing out but knew one of us needed to exit the task more than I as her husband was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. Even though I knew I was not fit for this service, I knew this – that God’s Grace is sufficient.

In somewhat typical fashion for our church, we didn’t go strictly by the book for this process. If you know much about Presbyterians, you should know we have a book for anything we do. Our outgoing pastor stayed on in an interim capacity while the search went on and our committee was tasked to complete our Mission Information Form (MIF) which is typically done by a separate and specific committee before handing the work over to the PNC.

I struggled here to find the right word for our task, to call it a journey is to belittle what we went through. Journeys are simply defined as ‘A going from one place to another usually of some distance’. I had to scroll down the list of related words my friend Webster was giving me and rejected hop, jaunt, cruise, walkabout to settle on quest, closely followed by odyssey, hike, slog and tramp. We did all those things in our search for the person called by God from time immemorial to be our next pastor.

Make no mistake about this, we knew what we were called to and what was placed in our hands – a Sacred Trust. To a person, we approached our job as a Sacred Trust, entrusted by our congregation to find someone to lead us, guide us deeper into discipleship, closer to Jesus and we were trusted by Jesus to find his Will. We opened every meeting (at least weekly for two years plus interviews and special weekends) with scripture and prayer. Each of us committed ourselves to prayer and fasting in our own fashion. We slogged, trodged (sic), and waded our way through close to 100 Pastor Information Forms (PIFs), dozens of interviews, four neutral pulpit weekends, two, yes two invitations to the call, and one Candidating Weekend that culminated in the vote of the congregation with the landslide ‘Yes’ result. Praise God!

As an aside, let me ask you a quick rhetorical question here, would you have clicked on the link if I correctly named this post A Sacred Trust? Or would you have read this far? Rhetoric aside, we all have a sacred trust to complete.

We laughed, cried, cajoled, rolled our eyes, and wondered at God’s wisdom to put us in such a place. We were humbled by the enormity of the task, heartened by the quality of men and women we interviewed, and amazed at the wisdom of each of the other people on our committee. We were likely sacrilegious from time to time. My suggestion to use my ‘Daily Decision’ app to make the choice from our short list comes to mind. Hey, the 11 Apostles cast lots to find Judas’ replacement, didn’t they? And they’d been in Jesus’ presence for three and half years. Fortunately, nobody took me seriously.

Even with all that going on, the Sacred Trust and Task proceeded as God willed. My choice of the photo I used to draw you in is apt. We were not looking for a shiny new pastor right off the Seminary showroom floor. We knew, or at least trusted, that the used model wouldn’t be a clunker nobody else wanted. The reality is, we didn’t know what make or model we would find or how many miles they had traveled. We placed our own sacred trust in God chiming our spiritual bells and letting us know which one to call.

Our congregation showed us grace, patience, and unwavering support. We would not have succeeded without it. Our Presbytery’s Committee on Ministry (COM) assigned us a pastor to support and guide us on our quest, a man who we could easily have picked to pastor the church. This man and his wife, also an ordained pastor, then came alongside the congregation to take over as interim pastor and have brought us through a period of healing and focused intention to prepare the way for our new pastor. As our interim pastor, his own Sacred Trust, he has made big asks of our PNC, the individuals on the committee and in the congregation, and the entire congregation. We needed the wake-up call to be intentional in our desire for God’s Will with this new direction.

Our trust was rewarded. The trust of the congregation was rewarded. The Sacred Trust has been fulfilled and our new pastor will be in our pulpit on July 2.

Thank you for reading and sharing a little bit of what our quest was like, our Sacred Trust. Now, go out and find a spiritual walkabout of your own, a Sacred Trust you can undertake. Our Lord will be by your side and the value is measureless.

In His grip,

jerry

Gear Up!

 

All-The-Gear-All-The-Time

Judging by the title of this post one might think I have put it up on the wrong blog and that it belongs on Iron Side Up rather than here at Calvary’s Thread. While I have posted about gear in my biker/travel blog, I have this post in its correct space.

As a motorcyclist, I subscribe to ATGATT – All-The-Gear-All-The-Time. For the bridge from biker reference to my Christian faith I refer to Ephesians 6:10-18:

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

My church, La Crescenta Presbyterian Church, adopted the following as part of our mission statement:

“We are a community of imperfect people, united by God’s Spirit, discovering new life in Christ. Our mission is to love God with all our heart, love our neighbors as we love ourselves, and grow as disciples of Jesus, as we make new disciples.”

There is an idiom that comes to mind, “Be careful what you wish for.”

One of my favorite westerns is “Tombstone” staring Kurt Russell as Wyatt Earp. In a pivotal scene, Marshall Earp is standing over Ike Clanton with a double-barreled shotgun as he says, “All right, Clanton…you called down the thunder, well now you’ve got it!”

We have put up our mission statement on our website for billions of people with internet access to see and read. We have called down the thunder and we had best gear up.

I am a part of the Pastor Nominating Committee now searching for a new pastor for our church. Almost without exception of the dozens of pastors we have interviewed, they have pointed to our mission statement as something that attracts them to us. There is more to the mission statement than I quoted here but this is the piece they point out and tell us that this is what the church, any church, should be all about.

Invariably, the pastor God has called to us and for whom we search for will be passionate about growing disciples who will make new disciples and they will “call down the thunder” for us to rise to the challenge. Speaking for myself, I had better gear up and put aside any qualms I have about sharing my faith or teaching others and helping them grow in Christ. I cannot go out and buy this armor at my local Christian Book Store – it is ‘the full armor of God’. It’s His, and by grace, He offers it to me.

A pastor so ardent for the Gospel, for the deepening of discipleship in their church, and for making disciples in a broken world will want a community of faith which knows this requires a total commitment on a 24X7 basis; nothing half-hearted, half-lived, or half-baked. And because ‘we are a community of imperfect people’ we will need the great blessing of His Grace ‘in good measure, pressed down and overflowing’ (Luke 6:38, KJV).

Be alert and gear up people!

In His grip and in His armor,

jerry

 Note: On March 25, 2020 I posted on Iron Side Up “ATGATT”. Just so y’all know.

Off the Bench

 

So nice and comfy here, just give me a few more minutes...

Spiritually speaking, I have been sitting on the bench now for quite some time. I hesitate to estimate how long I’ve been picking pine because I would probably underestimate the length I’ve have been sitting on the bench or standing on the sidelines. Some would say I am mistaken with comments like, “Look at the eighteen months you’ve been on the Pastor Nominating Committee (PNC)”, “You are active with the CFC Committee”, and things of that nature. True as those things might be and as deep as the trenches are for a PNC, my heart has been missing in action. If I’m honest with myself, my inaction goes well before taking care of my folks during their end-of-life journey and the pandemic so I can hardly pin this on them.

Truth be told, I have been setting myself up for a ‘well-deserved’ sabbatical and officially withdrawing from all committees, all services – who knows how many alls I could string together with this. It is embarrassing.

I played competitive High School (CVHS Falcons) and Junior College (Glendale Junior College Vaqueros, now known as Glendale Community College) basketball. With the exception of a loosely regulated (by the CIF) Junior Varsity Season in 1971, I came off the bench, though I should have started my sophomore year at GCC, but that’s another long and sad story. The point is, I know what sitting on the bench is and can be and what my responsibilities are. Until I put myself on the spiritual bench, I never took myself out of a game and on the bench - but I knew how to come off it.

Along comes our interim pastor, Mike Harbert, with the notion of putting our congregation though a program called Emotionally Healthy Spirituality which is a mouthful to say so we are calling it EHS. Pastor Mike has also been riding alongside our PNC since the beginning so he is familiar with me and he approached me as EHS planning was underway and told me that a certain elder on our Session told him that I would be a good table leader. Now, I am familiar with this young elder and have been watching her grow as a Christian since she was a wee lass coming into Junior High and going on Mission Arizonas with me. I couldn’t very well out rightly say so no this and thus decided to give it some thought and prayer.

The prayer part is what snagged me because when I mentioned it to the Boss I heard a still small voice that has been absent for some time now and He clearly said, “Get off the bench and into the game.” Okay, the still small voice hasn’t actually been absent, I have had my ears plugged and I've focused on feeling sorry for myself. There was no condemnation in the order, simply an urging to come in and make a difference, grow, and open myself to a new way of living. Again.

I know what I’ve done to myself here with this post. I put myself in a position to be held accountable. It nearly made me run the other way but that is not how I acted when on the bench in the olden days. I’m in the game.

In His grip,

jerry

Put me in coach, I'm ready to play.

People Xxxxx In Nearly Every Seat

 

LCPC Chapel

People Butts In Nearly Every Seat

Brass resounded, a two-piece timpani reverberated, and the Steinway resonated with our souls in the Chapel, a sanctuary for worship, praise, and reflection. The Altos and Basses, Tenors and Sopranos of the LCPC Cathedral Choir raised the roof and the filled the room with an incense pleasing to the Lord of Glory. It was an Easter Sunday done well.

I walked in a little later than I usually like for a normal Sunday and there were only seats here and there and my ‘usual’ seat was filled. Then I saw an opening and dove in to sit between two of my mentors, youth leaders from back in my days as a teenager finding my way into adulthood. They would later become impassioned supporters of me as a youth advisor myself. Without these two and their cohorts the church would be a shadow of itself and we would do well to cherish them, the time we have with them, their contributions then and now, and provide space and time for them to worship which is commensurate with their importance to the Lord.

A lady came in during one of the hymns looking for a place to sit amongst her friends so I slid out and ushered her in to sit between Bob and Terry then moved back a couple of rows while a woman I couldn’t recognize in her mask gave me the best of recognitions for a simple action, her hand to her heart.

It’s Easter! and meeting people’s hearts is the order of the day as we celebrate the most noble sacrifice of all time. These are lessons I learned from the likes of Teri and Bob, Jim, Glen, Alan, Dean, and my folks – so many beloved saints I can’t write them all in. I still learn from them. When the prayers came and the hymns were sung they stood or sat as they can or prefer. Standing or sitting, their hearts knelt and their eyes were on Jesus, a posture they take every day.

A message was piped in from the Sanctuary and a promise of fulfillment was given, a continuation of God’s Kingdom on earth. He calls our name – we pray and sing and answer the call. An infant was baptized and the rite was piped in.

There were people butts in nearly every seat as it should have been. This is the House of God.

Grab hold of the promise, let your heart kneel, and worship the Lamb of God.

In His grip,

jerry

Dear Ric

 

Harmony Pines - September 1995

My friend, I heard you left yesterday to walk through the gates where I am certain you heard the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant. Welcome to My rest.” While I am happy with that outcome for you I must confess that I am saddened by the loss, I’ve missed you for years and now I’ll kick myself for not taking a ride to Prescott.

We were partners in ministry to some incredible young people, including our own children. We washed feet together, broke bread, and hustled after kids decades younger than us. While we served under some incredible interns, directors really, we had enough in the tank to teach them a thing or to. We weren’t afraid to share our injuries with them and because of that, they were open to our hearts and heard the Gospel from us in real terms.

Many of those kids are parents now themselves, incredible parents. There are some great cooks and teachers and youth workers and yes, even an ordained Presbyterian Minister of the Word and Sacrament. Indeed, well done Ric, and well met.

One of my favorite memories with you was the Harmony Pines Camp we did along with your outstanding wife Peggy and the ever faithful James Delbis. We were between interns at the time and the four of provided the content for the weekend, “It’s Not About Me”. My future son-in-law was among the campers. But maybe I’m mixing up the camps as we did several of them up there including the one from 1995 pictured in this post.

Anyway, the lesson you brought one night was classic as you did a riff from the story I share with kids about not being bitter against God and how it separates us from Him. We were in that small meeting cabin with about a dozen or so Junior Highers with a nice fire in the fireplace and firewood all around, some we’d brought ourselves. You were driving home the point of being split from God using a sledge hammer with a log splitting wedge and pounding it out, very dramatic. With the final split a hive of carpenter bees was released into the cabin and all heck broke loose – kids screaming and running every which way and four adults opening every window and door while making a valiant attempt at ushering the poor confused bees out. Those things don’t bite or sting but they are terrifying. I think if any of the kids read this letter to you will see the whole thing all over again.

I want to thank you for all of that, you mean the world to me for it.

Let’s go back to before our ministry together to when Cindy and I rejoined the church with our little family. You and Peggy were assigned to us as we came out of the new members’ class. The system then was that each new member had an established member, or couple in the case of married couples, joining the church and you guys drew our names. You’d been warned to treat us with kid gloves because of the disillusionment we had from our old church that led to us being without a church home for somewhere around ten years. You both were so kind. A bit hesitant but so very kind. Once we shared the story with you and laughed off the tentativeness we slid right in to church life. Thank you, both of you.

You are whole now and with eyes wide open in awe of the place you are at and in Jesus’ presence. I’m grateful for that. Just the same, I’m sorry I didn’t jump on the bike and come out.

In His grip, your friend,

jerry

How Long?

Photo courtesy of my StoryBlocks subscription

How Long?

How long must we wear these chains and mute the songs of our hearts? Songs meant for praise and love and meant to extol the Kingdom of God. Our hearts are breaking for our neighbors and for a broken world consumed by a focus on self.

Turn our heats to you, Lord. Let us go to our knees in humility rather than stomping in protest. Let us cry out for your Kingdom coming. Who can stop it? And who can stop praises from entering your throne room? None. There are none that can do this. Our hearts pour out worship in spirit and truth and we are those you seek and call to yourself.

I heard it in the quiet of Your sanctuary.

I was free not to sing.

I tell you that I found a deep well of untapped love and adoration for our King dammed up for the need to sound out words and notes in precise and harmonic ways. When that need for the mechanics of song was broken by the command not to sing, worship gushed forth and broke chains. The logjam has moved downstream. Lord, let the force of your rushing waters take it down to the ocean and leave me free.

The Lord was good to me, he broke through my reticence and allowed me to move, clap, raise my hands in praise, and punch out emphasis to the prayers and worship during the service. I felt liberated, likely more so than I have in the years since returning to my home church.

I am thankful. It is not too much to ask that the fires to remain hot and that our ardor continue for the King.

In His grip,

jerry

To Laugh or To Cry?

(courtesy of my storyblocks.com account)

Romans 12:15 “¹⁵Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

Phil had me read a short, powerful scripture the other morning during our Zoom Men’s Meeting. The impact on me was immediate and many-faceted and continues to expand for me as I write this post. Let me lay the foundation that I would have hoped would have been known to me a bit more than twenty years ago but, as it turns out, was laid down in the beginning, as in ‘In the beginning was the Word…’

It was an earlyish Mission Arizona (MAZ) and when the senior high students were doing a project on one part of the reservation (Gila River Indian Community) and I was off with Julia, James, and the junior high students painting the interior of the Sacaton Presbyterian Church. Earlier in the week Julia and I were talking about things and a subject came up where she wanted to know what was in store for her and a tad frustrated at the progress in the area under discussion. In my hubris, I told her I would pray about it and come back to her with something. Nothing seemed forthcoming as the week rolled on.

Thursday is generally the last day of major work during MAZ with Friday the day we clean up and put the final wrappings on our projects so that we can enjoy a fun evening before trekking home on Saturday. Our painting wore on deep into the night while our paint supplies ran short. So we instructed the students that only an adult was to pour paint from the 5-gallon bucket into the individual cans and roller pans to make sure we didn’t waste any.

It was somewhere around one a.m. Friday morning when I went outside to pour paint for someone and found a good quart had been spilled on the sidewalk thus wasting the paint and making a mess that needed to be cleaned up. I probably said some inappropriate things as I went down on my knees to scrub the paint up as best I could. I know I mumbled things like, ‘those thrashers!’. I love those kids but junior boys and girls are thrashers. Everybody stayed clear of me while I worked out the week’s frustrations on the sidewalk.

A coyote jogged through the parking lot, stopped, and stared at me while cocking his head to the side to help him figure out what he was seeing. I sat up from my scrubbing and had to laugh with him and that is when I heard as clearly as I hear His voice, “It is not for you to know or determine. It is for you to laugh with her when she laughs and the cry with her when she cries.”

Reading that scripture on this Wednesday morning for me was like jumping off the rocks into a cold alpine lake. It was shocking and it awakened me to more of God's. When I was spoken to it was directly out of scripture and for twenty-three, twenty-four years, I had never realized it.

The implication is plain to me – if I want to hear God speak to me, I need to read the Bible. While I’m reading it, He will speak to me. While I’m praying or being silent, the Lord will speak to me from the Word. Homer Simpson said it very well for me, “D’oh!”

A more timely aspect of this passage from Romans is how much need the world has for us to pick it up this scripture and live it. We need to grab hold of this and in Christian empathy and concern weep with those who are in mourning for the loss of family and friends and their way of life. And we need to laugh and celebrate with those who overcome and persevere and find accomplishments in spite of a world gone sideways.

We must resist those who live in the ‘me-first’ moment. You know, the attitude that led to the ‘America First’ movement and the continued and ever deepening of America’s isolation from a world shrinking in on itself in misery and international effects? That is not of God and never will be. We are to be in the world. Not of it, no. But in it and among those who weep and laugh, celebrate and mourn. If we are to be Christ’s ambassadors in the world, we need to become really good at heeding this short verse.

Find someone and mourn or laugh with them as required.

In His grip

jerry

(images courtesy of my storyblocks.com account)

Early Morning Foray Into the Sanctuary

I went into the Sanctuary this morning, the first time I’ve been on the church campus in a couple of weeks or so, a notable rarity for me. Such is the advantage of being a key-holder, though in days long gone by we kept a key on the ledge over the door to the Fish Bowl as the room was known. Well okay, it was a bread-knife and the doors were not the higher quality of security doors we have in place today.

The pre-dawn sky back-lit the stained-glass windows, at least the ones still in place during our refurbishing process. (give people!) Being in the place alone and in the dark is one of my favorite times there and only in part because the darkness masks the scars technology is leaving on the walls but more so because I feel God's presence. The hush was reverent as I eased my way along the empty pews, so unlike the hush that’s come over the streets and malls and parks and our beaches during our time of social distancing and hunkering down at home.

It’s easy to pray here along but difficult to focus on the greatest area of need for prayer. I’ve been wondering what the story arc is for covid-19, how its epilogue will read. I decided to ask Jesus whose likeness looked down from the round window above our altar. Alas, no answer was forthcoming. However, I’ve decided to ask it of Him each time my random reminder to pray goes off. I am surely not the answer and I’ve no brain power to bring to bear on the problem. Who is? Who will rise up and bring the answer and allow us to return to a more level and even new normal? I suspect that the answer will only come when God’s people humble ourselves in pray and heat up our passion for His Kingdom. 

Surely the answer is not to return too soon to how things were and simply power through the crisis as though the loss of even one extra person is worth the ‘boost’ to the economy so the rich can maintain robust portfolios and tout how the middle class is so better off because of it. You know the rich, those folks with concierge healthcare that can buy a covid-19 test at the drop of a hat when the folks on the front lines can’t find one to save a life? This is a folly preferred by the ignorant and greedy.

Who will rise up and provide the definition of a new normal and give guidance on how we should live and thrive? I’ll ask, and ask again and sometime someone will come forward…

Come quickly Lord.

In His grip, jerry

Surely Not I Lord

How can we be so sure it is not us?

During the Lord’s Super Jesus was reclining at the table with the twelve disciples when he said, “I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me.” (Matthew 26:21 NIV)

The disciples were very sad and replied one after the other, “Surely not I, Lord?” (Matthew 26:22 NIV)

Jesus expanded on His prophesy saying that it would be better for the betrayer not to have been born. Judas then asked, “Surely not I, Rabbi?” (Matthew 26:25 NIV)

Look at the difference between how the eleven ask and how Judas offers the question. The eleven know Jesus is Lord while Judas still thinks him a simple Rabbi. That lack of revelation allowed Judas to betray our Lord out of greed. But, how could any of them been so sure he was not the one?

I prefer the English Standard Version translation of the question, “Is it I, Lord?” I can’t be sure enough to say ‘Surely not I.’

When things go a bit wrong or completely haywire we too often hear, “Not my fault” and then a bunch of dissemination coupled with defensive positioning and a digging in behind half-truths, outright lies, or self-deluded beliefs about one’s own actions and culpability.

What I need to do in those times is to respond with, ‘am I the one?” Then I need to react like David in Psalm 139:23-24, “²³Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. ²⁴See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (NIV)

I will rarely resolve anything by saying that it is not my fault. We will never advance God’s Kingdom with that approach – never come close to what we see for ourselves in God, or bring our vision for the church to fruition unless we hit the deck and cry out to be searched. And the first to do this need to be the leaders. Publicly. They cannot say that it’s the congregation’s fault, it’s not the pastor’s or elder’s or director’s fault. We must lead by example and be the first to hit our knees in repentance. It is the only way or it will be us that betray the Kingdom.

When we do this it clears the way for the Holy Spirit to act because God does not despise a broken and contrite heart. (Psalm 51)

So, take five or ten minutes today and pray to be searched. Read and meditate on Psalm 139 or use Psalm 51. Then, do it again tomorrow and act on what the Holy Spirit shows you.

In His grip,

jerry