Dear Chrissy,
How can the sun
be shining? That is what I asked myself this morning as I hiked up the mountain
with Todd. It seems to me that the day should have been overcast, drizzling,
and dreary, and more befitting of my feelings since getting the news of your
going home. Once I got over my indignity at the sun for such an outrage and
disgust at the gentle breeze that cleared the way for me to see the ocean, I
could see that this was the perfect day for your homecoming. I know that you were
greeted by Jesus with, "Welcome home, good and faithful servant. Well
done."
I have missed you
these past weeks. There will be an empty spot that, thankfully, Jesus will need
to fill and most assuredly will. At your darkest hours, you can make me feel
blessed and warmly received. I felt like a rock star whenever we saw each other,
all because I had the good fortune of spending a little extra time with your
kids, which was a huge blessing to me.
Austin and Nicole
have been at the center of your world, they were two of your reasons to hold on
as long as you could. I don't believe you feared death but instead were
possessed by a fierce desire to live, to see your kids well on their way in
life, to hold on to Todd for as long as possible, and to be there for your
friends while you were about the business of the Kingdom of God. After all, we
have only a short time here with our loved ones and an eternity with Jesus. You
thirsted for life; indeed, you thirsted for The Life, and I know you found it
and shared it unabashedly.
Grief will visit
us. It will be sharp and poignant for your family and the closest of your
friends. It will come to them in waves. Some waves will lap at their feet and
be gentle reminders of all you are to them: your kindness and love and your
ability to make them the center of your universe. Some waves will try to
overwhelm them, and we'll need to stand with them to ensure they are not swept
out to sea. God's grace is sufficient, and He will provide.
I know that for
myself, I asked, "Why Christine? Why was there no miracle healing?"
Honestly, I've been a bit miffed. Others will feel the same. I went down that
deep dark path years ago with a friend when I held on to my anger far too long,
so long that it turned to bitterness and that bitterness separated me from my
Lord. I caution folks to let the anger go, hold on to the love with their big
hearts, and let God be God. We may never know his purpose in our losses. He
must be enough for us.
I will continue
to be sad for myself, sad for that marvelous core group of friends of yours,
and sadder still for Todd, Nicole, and Austin. But I will also spend a lot of
time marveling at nature and the lush green pastures and the valleys you now
have with their lakes and streams, and I will praise the name of Jesus that I
have the good fortune to call you my friend.
In His grip,
Jerry
PS – I have taken
the liberty of scanning some of the comments from your friends and family and
have listed some that ring particularly true to me here. Some of these are only
a piece of what they wrote, some are all. At last count, there were 180
comments on the family post at this writing and these are but a few:
From Phil Van
Horn, "Brokenhearted and inspired…all at the same time."
From Alfred
Berumen, "I share your grief for someone with such a beautiful soul.
Chrissy was always a gem of delight and personality and she had fabulous
"Hair Pirate" hair. We all loved her so much. Peace and strength sent
to your family."
Sarah Rush:
"I'm sending you all my most heartfelt love and will be praying for you. I
was heartbroken to hear the news of precious Chrissy's passing last night. I've
prayed so fervently for her the last 5 years. I know she's with Jesus, but my
heart is so heavy. God bless you dear ones."
Karen Gee
McAuley, "We are so blessed to have known and loved her. We will remember
her, full of love, light and baked goods to rival a pastry chef, her sense of
humor and humanity. God called her home and while we miss her so much, we are
grateful that she is finally at peace."
Lisa Li:
"What a loss, such a ray of sunshine no matter the clouds. May she fly
high as know she would."
Jennifer Horn:
"Such an amazing woman filled with so much sparkle…"
Alice Hill:
"My heart breaks while her soul finds peace. I know she is in the loving
arms of our Lord, with no more pain and no more fear, only love. She will be
missed by everyone left behind, because she was truly one of the special ones.
Her loving spirit lit up a room as soon as she walked in and I am sure heaven
felt that amazing spirit when she arrived."
Sue Volz Peters:
"I'm so very sorry to read this news! Chrissy was a bright beacon of
light!"
Sharon Marks
Boudreaux-Stam: "I'm so sorry for your loss. She was such a beautiful
person inside and out."
Michele
Hetherington Fernandez: "We love you all so much & our lives have been
forever changed from having Christine & your family in them."
Greg Stoney:
"I'm so gutted. Such a sweet human taken from us much too early. I feel
honored to know her…"
Amanda Minkey
Granier: "Gonna miss my sweet friend so much but so blessed to have had her in my life for
so many years. I will cherish our times together, our laughs, our cries, our
talks and everything in between."
She was truly one
of a kind and touched so many hearts! She loved loved her family and was so
proud of all of you!
Terry Kappen:
"OMG!!! I am shocked to hear this news! My heart is breaking! I am so
sorry Todd, Nichole, and Austin. Chrissy fought the long fight. She trusted God
to see her through this for 5 years and never gave up. She now can have the
peace she and everyone that loves her have been praying for. She was the
kindest, God-fearing person I knew, she had helped me through many of trials in
my life."
180 and counting…
