Dear Russell

Dear Russell,

I’ve wanted to write this since the day I learned what your name would be; Russell Stone McBurney. Now you are a year old already and I feel somewhat foolish about having let my everyday life delay me in writing to an extraordinary person.

You are named after my dad, a man your dad called Papa. You would call him GPapa because he is your great-grandfather. He passed away five years ago now. Lord, how I miss him. I am going to tell you some of what I know about my dad. Your dad, his brothers and sisters, and your Grandma Amma and Grandpa Glen can tell you more about him through their eyes and heart.

A little more about this letter – this is the second edition, or my second try at getting it right. You see, I first used Russell Strong as your name and boy, did that embarrass me. Your dad says I can blame your Amma for this because she is an advocate of the ‘Strong’ nickname. Fear not, for I am determined to make this right and tie strong and stone together.

First let me lay the foundation with what my friend Webster (that’s what I call my dictionary) says about “stone”: “a piece of rock for a specified function: such as a building block, a paving block, a precious stone (gem), whetstone…”

Russell Stone is an apt name. Stones are hard, and big ones are heavy. GPapa could be very hard, firm in the way he handled me. Much of the way I am now is due to the way GPapa raised me. Stones are strong and we can build with them, make beautiful things with them, and skip smooth ones across the lake. He was all those things, a builder, beautiful, smooth on one side, rough on the other. I love him.

You will be a wonderful combination of your mother and father, just as I am a wonderful combination of GG and GPapa. I look forward to seeing how the mix works out in you.

Something I didn’t include in my first try at this letter and didn’t think of until I was sitting here writing about stones and how you can make beautiful things with them is that your GPapa was very creative, he was an artist. He played the clarinet as a boy and young man, he sang in the church choir with a wonderful bass voice. After he and GG moved to Oregon, he set up a woodworking shop and got into the art of intarsia which is the art of making a mosaic or picture out of wood. He used different types of wood for the various colors, no stains or paints.

He had all his children, grandchildren, and older great-grandchildren pick patterns out of catalog and make it for them. Except me. For me he knew exactly which one to use, a Red-tailed Hawk, my favorite bird. It was the perfect choice. One of my all-time favorite pieces is the elephant he made for GG, who had a collection of little elephants. I have it hanging on the wall of my office. He signed it on the back, “For B.J. (Betty Jean) By R.J. (Russel Jay) and Russell J. White, 11-21-2005”. I think I know where its next home should be.

For B.J. By R.J, Russell J. White, 11-21-05

Much like a stone, your GPapa was a very strong man. As a teenager, he bench-pressed 350lbs. He played football as a defensive lineman. He wrestled and competed in the California State Championships. GPapa was a bodybuilder, and I hope to send you photos most of us hadn’t seen until I found them in all his ‘stuff’ after he and GG (Great-Gramsy), your great grandmother passed away.

GPapa in a one-
handed handstand

GPapa's High School
football photo

GPapa was also agile, and he was a gymnast in high school. He was also a bit of a daredevil and did handstands on the edges of tall buildings in Manhattan Beach. He was quick, which is about the most athletic thing I inherited from him, me being a tall skinny kid while he was shorter and more powerful.

We played a lot of catch together, footballs, baseballs, frisbees…you name it, if we could throw it, we played catch with it. When I was a teenager, we played on the church men’s softball team together, he pitched and I played the outfield. We got into racquetball and played in tournaments. Toward the end of GPapa’s phone company career, he fell in love with golf, and both he and GG played for many years, taking great golf trips. I learned to play while I was in college and played with them both, though I stopped playing shortly after they moved to Oregon. It wasn’t as much fun for me playing without them.

All those physical things were fine, but he was much more than that. He was a smart man. In high school, he was a member of the honor society and was the Gardena High School president during his senior year.

From GPapa's H.S. Senior Yearbook

GPapa went to El Camino Junior College (now we call them Community Colleges), and he played a year of football there. He enlisted in the United States Navy after that first year of college so that he could help the country during the Korean War. He met GG (Your Great Grandmother) while they were both in the navy at the Seatle Naval Base.

They got married while they were up there and then GPapa got sent to sea on an aircraft carrier. There were over 1,000 men on that big ship and he became the U.S.S. Point Cruz boxing champion. When I was a young boy of about five or six, he started teaching me to box and talked about getting me into the Golden Gloves to compete with other boys my age.

GG and GPapa on Naval Base
Seattle

GPapa's Navy Portrait

GPapa was in the Sea of Japan between Japan and Korea on the day I was born. The story is that he was so excited that he went running through the ship to tell all his buddies. So excited that he slammed his thumb in one of the big iron doors. He never let me forget that one.

When he got back and we were united as a family, we lived in Torrence after he became a telephone man and started getting paid regularly. Torrence is only a short way from where he grew up in Gardena. GPapa had a very good career with Pacific Telephone and Telegraph (part of the old AT&T network) as a technician, then as a supervisor of technicians, and finally as a manager of supervisors. He was smart in how he dealt with people and could figure out how to put them to work on projects and in the field and get along as a team.

GPapa holding Jerry in one
hand, duplicated by Uncle Brad
with Mattingly

GG and GPapa rented a little house just after he was discharged from the US Navy until they found a house to buy on 175^th Street in Torrence, California. GPapa loved doing projects around the house. He built a cinderblock barbecue in the backyard, and he built a red brick planter and lantern in the front yard that is still there and working as of the time I wrote this letter to you. Your Amma was born in 1955, and we all had our own bedrooms. We lived there until 1962 when we were going to need another bedroom for your Great Aunt Denise.

We moved to La Crescenta into a new four-bedroom house in La Crescenta and GPapa continued to do his thing building things and working on DIY projects like a concrete slab next to the house where we roller skated, skateboarded, and after he put up a basketball backboard on the side of the house, played basketball. After a couple of years, we added a pool in the backyard. All three of the kids, Amma, Great Aunt Denise, and I, lived there until we left for our adult lives. It was a fantastic place to grow up with neighborhood friends for all of us.

Around ten years after he finished his career with Pacific Bell Telephone and then working for John Wells Golf shop, GPapa wanted to make a big change. They bought ten acres (a big piece of land) and built a beautiful house on it in Merlin, Oregon. That’s where they lived until they passed away in 2020. Denise had already been living there and that’s when they fell in love with the place. The McBurney family and my family took vacation trips there every year. During our summer visits, we rafted on the Rouge River. I would love to have taken you on a rafting trip. Maybe we can do that someday on some river. They had a cool pool table in the basement, and we played eightball and had a lot of fun at their house. We called it The Oregon White House.

Young GPapa w/ his
mom and dad

GPapa was an only child, no brothers or sisters. That is so unlike how you will be growing up. With a big sister to look after you and share the load when your mom and dad might be upset. GPapa faced it all alone. You will have Addie to listen to you when you are sad, share your happiness when things are bright, and maybe, just maybe, boss you around a little, though I believe she’ll be sweet about it. Love her well and enjoy having her around. Before you know it, she will be heading off to college or pursuing some great career.

And now that I’ve waited so long to write to you, you are already a big brother. Ezekiel Roy is lucky to have you as a big brother; you will be great at the job. GPapa didn’t have big sisters or little brothers, but he did have a younger cousin named James who was like a little brother to him. GPapa looked after James, and they were close enough in age that they played everything together, just like you and Ezekiel will be doing. Look out for Ezekiel and tell him things he needs to know and share with him the stuff you learn about GPapa and GG, and just life as it comes to you guys.

GPapa grew up in a Christian home, and they went to the Gardena Presbyterian Church. He was a Presbyterian for the rest of his life. He loved Jesus, served the church well, and loved people with that strong heart of his. GG and GPapa were two of my adult advisors when I was in Junior High (now they call it Middle School). You will probably learn about Batman and all sorts of superheroes. There was a Batman TV show back in the 1960s that was funny and exciting at the same time, very much like the comic books that Batman starred in in 1939. At one of our Junior High snow camps, GPapa came out during a skit the adult leaders put on. He was in a full-on Batman costume and the whole camp broke out cheering and laughing. GPapa was my Batman, and my church friends all called him that for years afterwards.

You don’t need to be like GPapa. Be your own person, as a little boy, a growing boy, a teenager, and a man. I am going to love watching you grow up. You will be a special blend of your mom and dad, Addie, some things you’ll learn from Ezekiel, and then those amazing things about yourself and the world around you that you’ll learn all by yourself. You are an amazing boy.

I tell you this, so you know that GPapa was strong in all things, his heart, mind, and body. His heart was huge, and he hung onto people when they needed it most. He and GG took in people who needed a place to stay and food to eat. My friends felt like they had a bonus set of parents. It is easy for me to imagine that your mom and dad will be the same. Your friends will find a safe place to play and be comfortable in. Your house will be warm with love and light, and those things will outweigh the hard times.

And so, my young great-nephew, live well, love deeply, and be strong in your heart, mind, and body.

In His grip,

Your great-uncle Jerry

PS: maybe when you get a little order, I can share what ‘In His grip’ means to me. Peace.

GPapa had a nickname for everyone, mine was ‘Stick’. His inscription on my red-tail reads, “For Stick. Together in His grip. Dad 10-24-2005.

More Photos:

Great-great Grandpa and Great-great Aunt Katherine's wedding day.
Great Uncle Jerry, GPapa, GGG White, GGA Katherine, Amma, Great-aunt Denise, and GG

GPapa's First Five with Amma, Great Aunt Denise
GG, GPapa, Great Uncle Jerry

McBurney Family at the Oregon White House with
Cousin Ann and her husband Rich, Uncle Brad, Amma, 
your dad in the middle, Uncle Jeff, Great Aunt Denise, GPapa, and GG