Many Mini-Miracles
Jerry, called as a reclamation project to be a servant to
children and now to encourage and challenge, to build up and inform, to ask and
listen to friends and family, known and unknown. To the faithful Calvary's Thread readers.
Sounds pretty pretentious to me but I wanted to try it
anyway with all those wonderful letters from Paul setting the standard for
salutation. Somehow when he did it with his long and impressive pedigree it
didn’t sound bad at all. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way…
I have a confession to make, actually I have too many to put
in a post and still keep to my goal of one type-written page per post. I am
gluttonous. I see blessings and little miracles almost all of the time; in
fact, whenever I rouse myself to look I can see them. I want more; I want it
all, including the big stuff. I want to see my mother-in-law walking down the
hall because she wants to do something down the hall. I want to hear her laugh
at a joke she made and I want to see her confer hugs and embrace her
grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
I started writing this post weeks ago and every time that I
thought I’d sit down to finish it I put it off hoping that the next visit to
see her would be the one where I could write about the big stuff – seeing and
hearing the real Jan and watching her be animated and involved, initiating
lines of conversation with us. We’ve seen her
improve from comatose to various levels of alertness, combing her hair,
brushing her teeth, and laughing at funny stories that are being told. She
walks down the hall under the supervision of the physical therapists at
their urging. Yesterday we visited and she vocalized more than at any other
time, clear hellos and then I’m quite sure that she said something about the
marriage contract when I joked about the small print in our agreement getting
me out to a quilting show with Cindy. It was a good day for her. Her grand-nephew
came later in the day and reported a similar experience.
I rejoice for a few minutes and then my gluttony takes over.
All these mini-miracles are adding up and maybe even add up today to a good
sized miracle; after all, we still have her with us and more so each visit.
Still, I need more and why shouldn’t I have it? The test of faith is almost too
much to bear. We ask and intercede for Jan and sign off on the prayers in Jesus name. Is the
answer no or is it “show me your faith”? What?
I would like to understand how Mary did it. Look at John 2:
1-12 and read about Jesus turning water into wine. Mary tells Jesus about the
wine running out and he tells her no, that it’s not his time. Mary tells the
servants to do whatever Jesus tells them and he responds to that with his first
miracle and turns the water into the best wine of the feast. What was the key
there? Some little thing that only Jesus’ mom would know that forced him to
act? Faith for sure as she acted on what she saw as a need that could be filled
by Jesus and to kick-start his career. But what was the real trigger and how
can I implement it? It feels like a dangerous thing for me to question my own faith
and to put the onus on myself. It scares me a little to consider these things.
I’ll take the mini-miracles and expect one or more each time
I visit or hear a report from others. I’ll hope for them to pile up and when
taken as a whole to have them add up to the big stuff. Who am I to question how
God does things? He looks at the long range, further down field than I can.
Perhaps He already sees her in one piece again and I only need to have a veil
or two removed to see it as well. God help me.
