Saturday, March 8, 2014

Grudging Obedience – To What End?

Alas, the last paragraph had the hero being reproved by God. I had jumped to the end of the story in the hope of finding a happy ending, one that would portend good things for the end of the particular chapter in my own life that I am now wrestling with. That frequently happens when I look for an easy way out.

Have you ever had anything in your life where something that you knew was what you should be doing, that you knew in your heart was God’s desire for you to be doing and you had already decided to do it but you’d rather not because there were other things going on, good things, important things, also things that you believed that were in God’s will but they were all stacked up like dominoes, each with its set of steps that needed to be done in order for the task to be completed and you were at the point that you really wanted to focus on the other things and didn’t feel like working on the first thing? Did you get to the point that your obedience to the first thing was given grudgingly? The first thing seemed pretty right at the beginning but the closer it got the messier it became and the messier it became the more time it took and the more time it took the more you struggled with your willingness to do it. Of course by this time didn’t the joy you wanted in doing the other things, the next things diminish, become messier, and create conflicts of their own?

I needed help with my task – I’m a bit tired so I looked for a lesson from the past. The example that jumped up at me was Jonah and I grabbed my dusty bible (should read “trusty” but that’s another issue to wrestle with) and read Jonah’s book. It is surprisingly short and to the point and unfortunately for today the ending was a disappointment to me. The story itself is very familiar, one that we’ve heard since earliest Sunday School. God calls Jonah to go and prophesy to the people of Nineveh to warn them of impending doom. Jonah instead runs from the presence of the Lord and jumps on a boat to take him away. Don’t you find it interesting that a prophet of God thinks that you can run from God’s presence? God brings up a storm and the sailors panic while Jonah, like Jesus would later do, falls asleep with the ship about to be overcome. When confronted by the crew Jonah, rather than be like Jesus and command the storm to cease, tells the crew to throw him overboard which they eventually do. Jonah really did not want to prophesy to Nineveh.

After spending his three days in the fish Jonah worships and God has the fish toss him upon the dry land and then commands him to go to Nineveh and when he does, the people, led by the king, repent and God spares them. Exactly what God wanted, exactly like Jonah expected, and a happy ending except that Jonah got angry and wished his life over. The last paragraph, Jonah 4: 9-11 is God reproving Jonah and the story ends.

How disappointing was that to me? I had hoped to read that Jonah grudgingly obeyed God and fulfilled his duties and in the end was blessed for it. Not so. 

To be sure, I don’t plan on getting angry when God blesses the first thing in spite of my curmudgeonliness but I had better get my act in gear if I want to participate in the blessings and come away from it closer to God. I’m not angry, I am scared that I’ve accepted too much and that the people being served by the things I have in front of me won’t get it and be blessed and I’m kind of in mourning that I haven’t overcome more of my reluctance and have completely deferred a new passion (not counting this post). I don’t want to mess up but I know that He hasn’t required of me anything that He can’t see me through. Amen.

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