The character that I am writing has
undertaken a study of the discipline of solitude and is using Foster’s Celebration
of Discipline, The Path to Spiritual Growth as his primary source.
Well, whatever my character studies, so must I. In a subsection titled “The
Sacrifice of Fools” Foster is dealing with silence and the pain that the lack
of it can bring when silence is really preferred. He has used a quote on the
subject from John Woolman’s Journal that I feel is most
poignant to me at the moment since I am now beginning a new term on Session.
Please allow me to share the quote and my thoughts. It is a bit lengthy so I’ll
break it up a bit as I comment.
“I went to meetings in an awful
frame of mind, and endeavored to be inwardly acquainted with the language of
the true Shepherd. One day, being under a strong exercise of spirit, I stood up
and said some words in a meeting; but not keeping close to the Divine opening,
I said more than was required of me. Being soon sensible of my error, I was
afflicted in mind some weeks, without any light or comfort, even to that degree
that I could not take satisfaction in anything.”
I have endeavored over my career at
AT&T as well as in meetings of service, both in the church and in other
volunteer settings, to say only what needs to be said and to be quiet if
everything that needs to be said is being said. I prefer to speak up only when
pertinent points of view are being expressed but not really heard or if what I
believe is the correct course of action is not being expressed at all. I
frequently fall short of this goal and as Brother Woolman has expressed here,
I’ve said more than was needed at the time.
I have felt bad about it but
probably not to the depth Woolman shares with us in his journal. Like him, I
seek forgiveness for speaking out of turn and off point, especially when my
words distract from the purpose of the meeting and lead to a waste of time, or
worse yet as in church meetings where this can be hurtful to others as well as
harmful to God’s purpose. Woolman’s quote continues and brings me a measure of
hope.
“I remembered God, and was troubled, and in the depth of my
distress he had pity upon me, and sent the Comforter. I then felt forgiveness
for my offence; my mind became calm and quiet, and I was truly thankful to my
gracious Redeemer for his mercies.”
I think that the pathway to a Holy
Silence leads us to a better understanding of God’s Will in things - our life
and the life of the church as well as what we seek for our communities at
large. The remainder of Brother Woolman’s quote tells us what the benefits of
Devine Silence can bring.
“About six weeks after this, feeling the spring of Divine love
opened, and a concern to speak, I said a few words in a meeting, in which I
found peace. Being thus humbled and disciplined under the cross, my
understanding became more strengthened to distinguish the pure spirit which
inwardly move upon the heart, and which taught me to wait in silence sometimes
many weeks together, until I felt that rise which prepares the creature to
stand like a trumpet, through which the Lord speaks to his flock.”
If I’m in a meeting and you think that
I’m being silent, I hope that it is because everything that I think needs to be
said and heard is being said and heard. Likewise, if I’m speaking, let’s pray
that it is because I have something meaningful to say and that it should be
something we need to hear.
In His grip, jerry
