Monday, May 18, 2015

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

Mother’s Day Sunday brings out a host of sermons about what it is to be a mother and many point to Mary as a shining example. All the pastors really need to do is lean a photo of you on the easel up front and have them give me a call; I’ll tell them all about you and how you’ve become and been the model mom. There is plenty that I can tell them and whenever I can, I brag about you and tell people how fortunate that I am to have a mom like you.

People sometimes ask me, or sometimes they don’t and I tell them anyway, what inspires me to youth ministry. Before I tell them it’s in my heart and I feel called to it by our Lord, I tell them it’s genetic, both my mom and dad were youth advisors to me while I grew up and my mom in particular carried on over many years – ‘carried on’ being such a descriptive phrase for how we are when we are in youth ministry. We carry on is so many ways; goofy, pragmatic, doggedly, silly, tearfully… You have been a guiding light to me with the pathway having been lit to what looks to me in the rearview mirror to have been a lifetime of youth work in one form or another with the times that I’ve felt most alive and most in tune with the Holy Spirit having been while working with young people. Thank you.

You have been an example of selfless love that you show us by your actions, the way you set up your priorities, how you go about Christian service – your lifestyle. The Love Chapter, 1 Corinthians 13, is your guidebook, your itinerary for living and it’s etched upon your heart.


You are the mother to two of the greatest treasures I have, Stacey and Denise. Sisters, as annoying as siblings can be to each other, are priceless and you have done a wonderful job with them, not so much like a sculptor with mallet and chisel as like the river washing away the roughness, leaving behind smooth stones, graceful and elegant, water and rock, perfect compliments, one to the other. Thank you.

You are and have been a bonus mom to my friends, my wife, and anyone I’ve loved and brought to the house. It has been an open door for the three of us and your extended family has grown and I know, has blessed you in return many times over, that’s the way giving of yourself is. Thank you for being there for my friends and caring for them as you have. We have a few bonus kids of our own and understand the appeal and fun of it; thanks for that as well.

By the way, your mom job as translated into a very nice gig as Gramsey and now GeeGee, hasn’t it? Thank you for being such a wonderful example to my own family unit. I am so grateful that God brought me a woman who has also been a great mom and reflects many of the same qualities as you. I’m quite certain that she would agree that you have influenced her on this in a very complimentary fashion with her own mother.

Thanks mom, I love you.

jerry james

33 comments:

  1. Facebook comment from Linnie Denham Johnson: She is one in a million!

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    1. Yes she is. Counting your mom, that's two in two million. What a pair!

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  2. Facebook comment from Cindy Collette Fellenz: Very well said about one of the greatesty women I've had the privlidge of knowing and loiving. :-)

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    1. Thank you. Some things are easy to write, a little harder to share. I'm grateful that my little FB community doesn't mind it when I get personal.

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  3. Facebook comment from Lisa Burruso-Hutchinson: Beautiful, just like she is!

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    1. She is one of the most beautiful people I've known and I know a lot of beautiful people.

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  4. Facebook comment from: Betty White I did give Jer my permission to post his letter to me for a couple of reasons. 1st - is MY JOY for receiving such a beautiful letter - what mother wouldn't have this joy! 2nd - is to let everyone know what it means to a mother to receive such a letter! 3rd - is to encourage you all to write your special message to your mom while you still have her with you. JUST DO IT!

    If, in fact, any of these lovely words is true I must point to my own parents for their having laid these things in me to pass on to others.

    LIFE IS GOOD!

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    1. Right on mom! It seems that for us to stimulate, needle, spur, coax, or cajole and otherwise encourage folks to do good things for other folks is something that's been handed down to us

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    2. Facebook reply from Cindy Collette Fellenz: Wish my mom wad still here & I'd do it

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    3. My reply to Cindy: Cindy, a few months ago I found out a friend of mine on the reservation in AZ had passed away last June. I wrote him a letter and posted it in my blog, then shared it with his family. It was a good way for me to consider his life and influence on me and our LCPC kids. It is never too late to do something like this for yourself, even if you leave the letter in an envelope in the desk drawer.

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    4. A Facebook reply to Cindy from Betty White: Cindy - your Mom was a Treasure! Write to your kids about her or, like Jerry said, write one to her and put t in the desk drawer - pull it out on Mother's Day and re-read it. By the way, you are quite the treasure yourself! One of a kind!

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  5. Facebook comment from Ashley Cornelius: Love it! Beautiful tribute

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    1. Thank you. Missed being with you guys yesterday but you'll see my next Iron Side Up post on where/what I was doing. I am grateful for the influence that Gramsey has been on all my kids. You reflect many of the wonderful qualities that's made her what she is...

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  6. Facebook comment from Virgie Rosales-dickes: that was a beautiful letter to your mom. As a mom, it's nice to see on paper how much you mean to your child no matter what age they are, it' special to be able to read the letter over and over. Thank you for sharing Mrs. White and Jerry.

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    1. Thank you. As your old friend and colleague I don't hesitate to put you in a class with my mom for momness. (I'm going to coin that word) Peace

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  7. Facebook comment from Jim McClelland: I can't imagine my life without her love and influence.

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    1. I can't imagine your life without her love and influence. That may sound a little weird but it makes perfect sense when you think about it considering how close you and I are.

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  8. Facebook comment from Marcia Randis: Our world has become way too good at finding fault and identifying all that is wrong with people. I cannot imagine anyone not benefitting from focusing on some positives in their life. Sharing those with others could only serve as a healing balm on a host of hurts.

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    1. Spoken from a woman with the heart of a shepherdess.

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  9. Facebook comment from Pat Murphy Chambers: There are many people that have been bonus moms for me both before and after I lost mine, but Betty holds a special place for sure. By the way, I like your sisters too! Glad that in some way we are now official family.

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    1. What has been true has been made official. I like it like that. I know that you've had a special place with mom as well.

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  10. Facebook comment from Angela Mattingly: Betty. a thoroughly good woman and a great Mum

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    1. Mum! I love it. And with your concurrence it is official, she's know around the world as a great mum. Coming from a loving woman like you, that makes it extra special. Say hey to Steve for me...

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  11. Facebook comment from Peggy Dudgeon Edens: Amazing woman that I have looked up to and respected over the years.

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    1. That means a lot to me coming from one of the originals from Student Ministries. Thanks!

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  12. Facebook comment from Laurie Kuhn Hornor: Love!!

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    1. Thanks Laurie. I think I have the start to another good letter, "Dear Coach L, You've done such a marvelous job with one of my bonus kids..."

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  13. Facebook comment from Dana Fritzler: I loved it Jerry White. A beautiful gift:)

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    1. Thank you Dana. Usually when I write something I hope that there is one person that it will touch in a way that is helpful and that nobody gets hurt, with that thought in mind it makes the writing worthwhile to me. You had parents that were special, I loved them and miss having them around. I know you could sit down and write up a good letter about/to them. See you soon.

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  14. Facebook comment on my re-share from Tomi Perkins Ruskin:
    I totally understand. When I lost my mom, it was life changing and I miss her so much everyday. It has been 14 years 💔

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    1. 14 years? It seems like just the other day she was doing something either kind or crazy or being a rock and just standing our side. My mom has been gone about 3 1/2 years and time seems to have stood still in some ways. Something happens with one of my kids or grandkids and I turn to comment on it to mom like she's there with me. She is, of course, so I say it anyway. They never really leave us. Peace.

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    2. Facebook reply from Tomi Perkins Ruskin: Jerry White yes she was by my side thru all 5 cancers and now with my granddaughter thru her brain cancer. Just focus on all the good memories they left behind it helps me get thru💜 that and my faith which you had a huge part in.❤️ I hold on to all those memories, and how could you forget the Miller Girls 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣sorry if I was bad 🤗🤗🤗🤗love ya thanks for being there for all of us❤️

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    3. My reply to Tomi: Oh, those Miller girls…I love them all. I don’t remember you being bad, not once, nor your sisters. Now some of those boys in our little group. What I remember most is the laughter and love as we all tried to figure out what a Bless-in was. If I played even a small part in you getting through cancer, then I lived well indeed and didn’t mess it up too bad. You are a hero and your granddaughter as well. Blessings and healing to you both. I understand the Great Healer makes house calls – may he reach out and touch you and yours now.

      Now, about that granddaughter – you understand that people in a youth group I helped lead having grandchildren makes me really old. I may need a nap. Or wind therapy on the bike.

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