Saturday, April 20, 2019

Roll Back the Stone



I sat and listened to scriptures being read while friends were gathered round a campfire in front of the church. It was our Good Friday Vigil and the scriptures were followed by songs, prayers, devotional thoughts, and hope. Most assuredly, hope. A huge stone had been rolled in front of the entryway to the church – in times past one of our high school students would dress as a Roman soldier and stand guard.

I was struck with the certainty that I keep such a rock covering my heart, not to keep Jesus in as they did at his Passover burial chamber, but to keep him out. I don’t want him to know the truth of who and what I am, a sinner and full of hypocrisy. I’ve had my hypocrisy pointed out by a long lost friend recently and I take no consolation that hypocrisy crosses every line and reaches into every pigeon hole of humankind.

The stone even keeps me from truly knowing myself so that I can surrender to God’s Grace completely. The final act of grace was accomplished with Jesus’ sacrifice, the victory over sin and death sealed with his resurrection.  I can only cry out and cry out again, pray and pray again, and knock and knock again, rather - pound and pound again - at the door and beseech him to overcome the rock over my heart.

Lord help me roll away all that blocks me from being true to your word.

He rises!

In His grip,

jerry

7 comments:

  1. Facebook comment from Jim McClelland: Bull's eye, as it applies to your friend from Walnut Creek. Probably the most effective piece you have ever written.

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    1. Thank you. Regarding effectiveness of my writing - I maintain that my best stuff is written from the heart and this one is certainly that. However, it's not always a guarantee of popular acceptance or producing content that isn't severely flawed or hurtful. I'm human.

      As for hitting the bull's eye with my friend, I consider you one of the most genuine people I've known.

      I cast a pretty wide net with this one and I'm pretty sure if folks who read it take it to heart then I've hit a scoring ring with my dart, or net in this case.

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    2. Facebook reply from Jim McClelland: What is this “popular acceptance” you speak of? Full steam ahead, my brother.

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  2. Facebook comment from Jim McClelland: So, every year when Thanksgiving approaches, I switch my Pandora to holiday music. Yesterday, after completing a sprint-to-the-finish work deadline in San Rafael, I was feeling particularly grateful, and the holiday music was able to resonate a little deeper on the drive back to WC.

    ...and, when I was thinking about "no room at the inn," my thoughts went directly to this blog post of yours. Do our daily lives shuffle our Lord to our barns?

    One Christmas song in particular dials me into the power surely shown the world that night. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDUg88d9Hbw
    Still, joy to the world. Let every heart prepare him room.

    Merry Christmas, my brother.

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    1. Merry Christmas my dear brother.

      It seems you’ve provided a key to unlock floodgates damned up by clutter and debris. Now it is up to me to go with the flow.

      You asked ‘Do our daily lives shuffle our Lord to our barns?’ Oh my yes. I’ve recently, maybe 30 days ago, adopted a new action item list because of the daily crap that has accumulated of ‘things’ I need to be doing. I have several categories such as ‘Home Improvement & Family Stuff’, ‘Writing’, “LCPC and Spiritual Stuff’, etc. Far and away the longest list is the first one and I’ve barely been able to consider the writing or spiritual stuff which was the whole point in having the list. One thing not on the list and is a ‘must-go’ item are my time wasters, seemingly the only place under my direct control where I can carve enough time to be purposeful in my writing and spiritual life, sometime they are one and the same and I’m grateful for that. My backlog of daily crud has put them both in a box, out in the barn.

      I listened to the song you shared and will do so again and again. Thank you. I will ‘fall on my knees’ for this O holiest of nights. And I will write. I re-read this post you brought up thinking I’d edit it a bit because that’s what writers and artists do to their work. I didn’t change a thing and that make me think I tapped into true creativity. Our Great Creator has not modified his creation one bit since the beginning when he set it in motion. That’s the difference between art and true creating.

      Two new post titles jumped out at me: ‘O Holy Night’ and ‘Worship as a Mission Statement’. Bug me until you see one of them. The first should be out before Christmas Eve, the second before New Year’s Eve.

      Regarding the barn and my dam analogy – I wonder if for me it isn’t a nearly unsolvable maze. If I was in a barn or keeping Jesus in a box it seems that my engineering mind could/would/should figure out how to open it up. It if were a dam, there is TNT. The maze keeps me running because surely there is a way out, or maybe a way to the center where I’ll find my Lord waiting with a wry smile on his face, as long as I keep running I think I’m progressing. When/if I get there? I’ll fall on my knees. 

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  3. Facebook comment from Betty White: This is truly one of your best, Jer! Thanks

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    1. Thanks mom. It must be for you and Jim to give the post a second push...

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