Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Sunday, September 29, 2024

Holm is Where the Heart Is

 

Isaiah 43:2 - “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.”

In my last Calvary’s Thread post, ‘Adrift’, I wrote about drifting along the current of a river without tiller or oar and speculated that I might be able to lean over and hand paddle my along. Jim McClelland suggested in a comment that by hopping in I could “enjoy the truths of the discoveries along this particular journey.” Part of my reply to Jim was that I am more effective as a swimmer than a drifter, or something along those lines. As effective as I can be while propelling myself along the river of life, I need respite from the currents and chills of the water. I need rest and a place to do it. I believe I found such a place and I know of a handful of others. Holm.

Holm, as Webster describes it, is a small island or inshore island. It’s a British term and those folks seem to have cornered the market for alternate words for an island such as: ait as in ‘a little island’ or eyot a variation on ait. I prefer ‘holm’ to the alternatives, it feels warmer and more inviting to me.

When my sister Denise moved to Merlin, Oregon and shortly thereafter my parents, we took summer trips to visit them nearly every year and with few exceptions, rafted down the Rogue River. For twenty-five years we took these floats using inflatable kayaks, paddle rafts, and drift boats. We encountered small islands, or holms, along the way downstream. They provide sanctuary for birds to nest to be safer for their eggs and young. Canada Geese, Mergansers, Teals, Mallards, and other waterfowl use the island to pull up on and sun to restore body heat and to nest. Songbirds and waders (Green and Great Blue Herons, and various Egrets) wade off the holms to hunt for fish and frogs. The islets are not Edens as there is predation from the sky from eagles and hawks. Otters, playful as they are, eat pretty much what they can catch. Still, there is a measure of sanctuary and peace, the birds can breathe and relax a bit.

Bass Lake, the ancestral home of my mom, has a couple of islands – one toward the upper third of the lake where the Madera County Sheriffs operate from. The other island is down near the dam. Both islands are submerged when the lake is full with the only evidence as either the Sheriff’s tower or the vegetation sticking up above the water. Likewise, both islands are accessible by walking when the lake is at its lowest point. The island near the dam is bisected by a boom, in the old days of true log construction but nowadays made of rubber coated tubes filled with floatation materials. Nearly from the day we could walk we would see how far we could get before falling off the boom and into the lake. It became a rite of passage when we could swim along the boom out to the island or take our inflatable rafts to it. These were our Huck Finn moments.

My dad and I sometimes rowed out and fished around the island. I miss those times of quiet conversation as we tried to lure trout and bass to our hooks. Whenever I see the island, I remember those times and I am warmed by the memories of them. It is a holm to me.

A week ago, as I wrote this, I was at holm with Jim and Shirley McClelland, free of the river’s currents, rapids, and rocks. A place of peace and sanctuary. I feel at home at their place, always. I rode my motorcycle up to see them, hang out with Jim with his various errands, and take in a Giants’ game at Oracle Park. As arduous as my ride up was (I’ll need to write that story for Iron Side Up) I needed a place to catch my breath. The ride provided me space to think and pray about things and then push them away to pay attention to the road. With Jim and Shirley, it is as though no time has passed and we pick up where we left off. I love them for it.

Mike and Van Schermerhorn’s place is another holm, and island of respite. The last time I was with them I had rented a trailer to help Mike move a patio set to a friend of theirs in need. As with Jim, it seemed that no time had passed and we picked up where we last saw each other. Mike and Van bought lunch for me which we had shared with friends of theirs. They needn’t have, the warmth in sharing in their kindness was more than enough payment. I love them for it.

My sisters’ places and kids’ homes are places we stay that offer the same sort of comforts of love, joy, and peace – they are places to rehab my soul. Holms in the river, though with the grandkids the times are more otterlike than completely restful.

My prayer for you, my encouragement to you, is that you find your holms. And those that you already know, pay them a visit and heal a bit from the rush and keep a weather eye out for new holms.

In His grip,

jerry

Biblical river references:

Psalms 46:4 - "There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High."

Revelation 22:1-2 - "Then the angel showed the river of the water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb."

Genisis 2: 20 - “A river flowed from the land of Eden, watering the garden and then dividing into four branches.”

Wednesday, June 1, 2022

Dear Mom and Dad

 


June 1, 2022

Dear Mom and Dad,

There is nothing I would love better than celebrating your 70th Anniversary with you, sitting around with family and friends grouped around the lawn, the pond, up on the deck. We would raise a glass in a toast, Mimosas likely, and thank all who were there for celebrating such a rare feat of 70 years of marriage, and rightly so.

It might’ve been a bit cool when we started but don’t worry mom, it’ll warm up nicely. In the meantime, we’d be bundled up a bit and be warming each other with fond memories. Dad would be right next to you practicing his favorite pastime, keeping you warm; he was a great one for seeing you comfortable. Snippets of conversations would reach us and just as quickly, smiles would appear on our faces written in family script, age lines, some would call them, we prefer smile lines and expressions of joy accumulated over a life well lived.

I am so thankful for the legacy the two of you established for us. Cindy and I will be celebrating 46 years of marriage this year, Ashley and Matt notched their 20th this past December, Lauren and Taylor will hit the 9-year mark in September, and Daniel and Ani just tallied up 8 years this past April. Not bad, not bad at all. Thank you.

The dance I will always remember is The Wedding Anniversary Dance in 2001 at Matt and Ashley’s wedding. It was a dance of attrition with the shortest marriages coming off the dance floor first. The last five couples were Matt’s folks Curt and Jean, Cindy and I, Kathy and Lee Craw (yet another couple the two of you had great influence with), Jan and Gene Mauk (Cindy’s parents), and you guys. What a testament!

You guys faced down events, trials, and circumstances that could have derailed the marriage. Well done. You didn’t start it off easy by getting married while the both of you were serving in the US Navy with dad being shipped overseas to Korea while mom was pregnant with me. I suppose that made me a Navy brat, short-lived as it was. You built a home in Torrance then made a big move to La Crescenta, no simple tasks.

Vacations! Oh, my Lord, the vacations we had. Bass Lake, a family destination and where we celebrated your lives, has left a multi-generational mark on us and all to the good. We had great times in Bridgeport California, fishing hiking, reading, exploring… Our family vacations with the Murphys at Balboa Island set up another tradition we still revisit from time to time.

But we cannot talk about family vacations without mentioning the trip we made to Kearny Nebraska in the Lemonwood Yellow Chevy Impala station wagon equipped with a 396 cubic inch engine. Dad had some magical way of packing gear on top of the car, one year it was a tarp arrangement and then he built a plywood box with slopped front and painted to match the car. We camped our way to Kearny to visit the Andersons. Four-corners, Mesa Verde, Grand Canyon, and driving through a tornado warning we had no idea was in effect. All we knew was that I had to stare out the front and call out obstacles as they appeared during lightning flashes because the headlights couldn’t penetrate the downpour.

Thank you for setting the tone for having family vacations.

I think I will finish this letter with a little about your faith and faithfulness and skip the maudlin part where I say how much I miss you and that all the memories I have come flooding back with the simplest of things, Dad’s intarsia, FB memories with Mom, and all the boxes of crap we took from your house and the treasures we are unearthing from them.

The thing that stands out the most to me is your faithfulness to Jesus, his church, and the needy folks he brought to you, people who lived with us for a time of healing, people who you served when they had nobody else. You both served as Elders in the churches you attended and your elderships had the beginnings in youth ministry as advisors and teachers and went from there to leading and guiding the churches. It has struck be recently that your ministry went from leading as elders to the pure ministry as Deacons, the get down and dirty ministry of serving the poor, the hungry, the lonely. I admire you for that.

Signing off now. 70 years is huge, one of the comforting things is knowing the count keeps growing only now in a place where you both are whole again. Thank God!

In His grip and with the deepest of loves,

jerry


Thursday, September 2, 2021

A Love So Sweetened

 

A year ago tomorrow, my love was sweetened through the cost of bitter tears and tears of relief and sadness, and some of love and thankfulness.

I had the onus of sitting with my dad through his last hours, how many it does not matter. My mother joined me for the last couple of hours or so, my brother-in-law spent time with me and my sister as well. I say ‘onus’ and indeed, the task was heavy. But onus is not quite the right word, too negative. It was not a pleasure, to be sure, but it was a place and time of honor, of the deepest intimacy that I could experience with my dad, the moment in time when he reached a final peace after what seemed an age of suffering.

We sat together with him holding his hand and as he breathed his last three breaths and it was eye-opening. He breathed free and easy for the first time in years and he went with a look of astonished wonderment on his face knowing that he would be breathing easy forever after.

All this is fine but what did it do for me right after or what does it do for me now? It allowed me to let go and love more sweetly. Love for my dad, for my mom, and for anybody I am brave enough love – my kids, their kids, and a wide range of family and friends and acquaintances. If I let myself do it.

I wish I’d known this as a young man when I lost friends far too early, family so near, and as an older man feeling the same as the losses grew. It is hard to forget them. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve not been so encumbered by losing friends and family as others, many others, maybe even most others.

Over the years I have told others that they have big hearts. Hearts big enough to hold the memories of a lost loved one and to continue loving others and even ‘another’. It is no disrespect the departed to love more fiercely, more sweetly once they have gone, it is an accolade to memories of them. As my friends David, Stephen, Graham, and Neil like to say, ‘love the one you’re with.’

My cousin is showing me this right now as they sit with her husband along with his mother, her mother, their kids, and grandkids, as many as can be there. They are in a place to love more. More sweetly. And they are doing so and inspiring me and warming me up. Thank you, cousin.

Hug your loves more tightly, speak to them more tenderly, laugh with them more often, be sweeter to them always.

And yes, I believe my love for Jesus has been so sweetened.

In His grip,

jerry