The Dark Roots of Entitlement

I need to preface this post, or my ramblings on entitlement, with a disclaimer of sorts. I’m an old telephone man, one who failed as a gym teacher, no less. So, if in reading this you find a nugget that weighs out as a truth that you can cash in, thank God. Also, this post was inspired by a Facebook question posed by Elisabeth Kennedy and the wonderful replies she has received by her considerable community. For them all, I thank God.

The question is, “What do you think creates entitlement – in a child, or a culture? And how does one work to change it once it has reared its ugly head?”

Entitlement as defined by Merriam-Webster is “- the condition of having a right to have, do, or get something or the feeling or belief that you deserve to be given something (such as special privileges)” Without defining ‘sense’ of entitlement, my friends have addressed the meaning in their second definition. My Urban Dictionary app, as it likes to, gets into more politically incorrect usages. However, the UD opens with a sentence that I found useful in my consideration on the topic. Sense of entitlement is “the idea that one has a right to be given something which others believe should be obtained through effort.”

I frequently feel better when I’ve mulled over the key definitions when I approach subjects of this nature. Now, to the question at hand I have to turn to Genesis 3 where mankind’s flawed nature is exploited by the serpent. We were born with the capacity to have a sense of entitlement and the serpent exploits that sense in us and uses many guises to do so because the serpent seeks to separate us from God. We are kept at arm’s length from our Lord as soon as we feel entitled to God’s presence in our lives and to any of the promises He offers. If we want His presence and believe we need it, yes. Believe we deserve it? Not so much.

That’s all well and good for spiritual things but how do we apply this to the practical life of raising kids or leading churches, countries, or cultures? Good grief! God has been wrestling with us forever on that and He doesn’t have to deal with entitlement within Himself. God freed his people and Moses dealt with the grumbling to the point of exasperation whereupon he struck the rock to shut them up. How many of us have capitulated to our children’s cries for something and shoved the coveted item into their hands while growling out, “Here! Now leave me alone.”? It is no easy task to instill a sense of appreciation and a capacity for being thankful for what we have when we ourselves struggle with the disorder.

We need to apply a firm but loving hand in the teachable moments with our children in order to foster a sense of appreciation for the things they have instead of a sense of disappointment for the things they want but don’t have. Likewise, when we are responsible for churches or segments of churches, countries, or cultures, we need to use a steady approach to instill the sense of thankfulness over entitlement. And in the end? We hand it back to God to bear fruit.

Used from my GraphicStock account. *

If anyone is entitled to anything, everything, it is Jesus. Paul tells us of Jesus’ heart in Philippians 2: 5-8 (NIV): “⁵In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: ⁶Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; ⁷rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. ⁸And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!”

A sense of entitlement is the absence of humility. The Great Teacher explained things to that point in the beatitudes, two of his first three deal with humility and their rewards:

Matthew 5: 1-3 (NIV) “¹Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, ²and he began to teach them, saying: ³Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. ⁴Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. ⁵Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.”

So, we must realize that we are born with the capacity to have a sense of entitlement and then use teachable moments with those for whom we are responsible and demonstrate humility and thankfulness and expect the same in return. Pray for patience. Pray for humility. Pray for discernment, wisdom, and unflinching love. By all means, pray.

In His grip, jerry

*Regarding my graphic search in GraphicStock, I found nothing when using the terms entitlement. A photo of someone doing a selfie came up for selfishness. However, when I used ‘humility’ as my search term all of the graphics that came up had the cross, Jesus, or both and many of them referred to Good Friday within the text of the graphic.